my story of how I torn my cape...

so as I sit in the doctor's office today, I wait and wait. and after I am getting told what I need to do. I ponder, ponder the idea of what is next for me. why me? I started to realize what was next for me. I needed to be free of this. be humble and allow it to be free from me, not for sadness or sorrow. but truly be able to tell a story, of the ending that is bringing a new beginning in life. I thought, why me, why anybody. I thought for once I will let me torn cape be free of me and allow it to be given to someone else. really, I give away control? no! yes! no! well, I have taken on the role of superwoman, so my friends tell me. I am not.nor should I be. I sat and wondered all this time I was sick, please just give me a day of feeling good. no, not worse. good, really good for once darn it. It only got worse for me and I was even for once listening -really listening to my doctor, to my body and to the man above. I was doing what I was told. for once. serious, some of you may really know me and for once I listened. I am allowing you to know to spread the word and to protect your own. I am very private and can be tough, only for so long. I want you women to know, you are worth everything. to your children, your husbands, boyfriends, your loved ones and to yourself. we women do a lot. not to say that men don't. If you are a stay at home mom- you are a true angel.if you are a working mom or working women, you are an angel. we women take on a lot. too much sometimes. and you need to be free, of the work of the mess of the whining. just for a minute or two or five. you can only take care of you, you run the show.but please take of you. I have learned a lot about myself these days. I want to share with you all that are in my life, you are here for a reason. no matter if we talk, don't talk are friends or not or even if you don't know me, you are here for a reason. for me, not selfishly, but for a reason. my reason is good, I am blessed truly because of you. no matter what you are or have been to me. I have been sick very a long time, in my eyes anyway. I have had the sinus infection to bronchitis to ear infections to this. this is not a time I am ready for this. I am ready to really live to day and tomorrow, you bet I will be here another day. but I want to make sure all the girls that are reading this, or the moms or the moms of girls. should know this. I had cervical cancer a couple of years ago, I got it taken care of. pretty simple really. I thought I was unstoppable, I am not. I thought I could pray it to go away, it would not. I thought I untouchable, I am human. I was diagnosed with the cancer and knew that it was still there. I made a stronger cape. no one could stop me now. I went through cancer, pretty lightly- but I did. I did not have chemo, but I had the feelings of what it feels like to be scared. yes, I know me? I did. I will admit it now. It might save a girls life or your own. when I was diagnosed, I found out it was from a virus. hpv, please get your girls vaccinated. it will save there life. I know found out today, that since I thought that was the only place it could be was there. It is not, it can spread. it can cause cancer in the throat. yes, I know what??? I have a spot on my tonsil. It may be nothing,but I am getting a biopsy to check and for once I wanted to shout out my story. to cry. to be there for you, to tell you. I do not want to scare you, I am tough and believe there is a reason for everything. and this reason, I will find out why me? I am, I am telling you, that is a big step to me. I am very private. I want to protect all girls from this. I want to start a group that has this. I can not at this time,but I will I will get through this. I will. I  will. I have hope, right? isn't that enough. not sometimes. I ask for you to pray for me, to share your stories with me. this is very important to me. I wanted to make a difference with all that I touched and this is the start of it. I know I donate and give my time, but I want to give back, from me. from what I know, from what I am about to go through, and to be a survivor of this. to tell you this story after it is all done and say once again, I got through this. I will give up my cape. I may know who, I have a feeling of who gets it. I need to give it away for a bit, but I want it back. when I get time I am coming to get it soon. but I want to give it to someone that has been there for me and been dear to me through all times. I have many people that deserve a piece of it, and you will know soon. as I am giving it away slowly. you all deserve a cape of your own, and all that I do know. all the mothers, friends and family I have. you have one! I know you do.but you deserve a piece of mine. I have a client that is in the hospital right now, she has a husband and two kids at home. I worry for her. she is getting a piece of my cape. she deserves it. all women deserve a cape, your own cape. geez, you work, you raise kids, you raise kids as your job(god bless you for that.amen to you) and your work,raise kids, clean house, pick up kids, take kids, go to the store, tell yourself you will get a manicure or pedicure someday. do it. just do it. don't wait.treat yourself! you run your life, your running your children's lives your living life. so be still, take time for you. take a nap, geez you really deserve that.!! give love, receive love. take it all in. breathe it in. it will be here and that day is gone. so be. be free if guilt as a mother and take the time you need to take really good care of yourself and love, love life. it is yours to keep, yours to live. share the love, give the love. I don't want sympathy, I want you to spread the word. I thought, not me.not me. well, It is me and take this and wrap your mind around what you feel is good for you and your loved ones and do it. live your dreams, you can do it. if you set your mind to it. I did, and I really did. so should you. love to you all! many blessings. danielle fox